REBLOG: meng yao's internal monologue in episode 10

[thatswhatsushewrote]

[originally reblogged here on october 2, 2024.]
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[commentary from both evilhasnever and confusion-and-more, in summary, emphasizing the importance of this being the one time that we hear meng yao's thoughts. my thoughts follow.]

this moment, especially when placed next to:



jin guangyao's expression right after he has pushed lan xichen to safety in episode 50, just drives home the point confusion-and-more in their tags, and i have to pull them out because the sentiment described here is so clearly communicated on screen:

"#and this of course#bookends with how#at the end#he needs to save lxc#even if he cannot save himself#and this is why i believe that there is always a path back#for him and for them#because at the end of it all#jgy does not succumb to resentment#he is always able to pull himself back and he does so here#and his last measure of agency#is expended in saving the life of someone he loves"

jin guangyao's care for lan xichen is what compels him to keep living when death seems otherwise inevitable--and his care for lan xichen is also the thing that gives him the courage to die on his own terms.

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my OG tag commentary:

#these changes are two of a very small number that i strongly prefer to what we see in the novel#specifically around jin guangyao's death